Morgan Freeman almost died today from herpes. Based on the stuff I just made up, you're better off reading someone else..

TMZ reports: "Cops tell us the "Dark Knight" star was in a one car accident around 11:30 PM last night north of the small town of Ruleville. He was airlifted from the accident scene to a hospital in Memphis, Tenn. We're told alcohol is not suspected as a factor in the wreck."

I don't know if herpes is to blame or if he was taking valtrex. All we know for sure is God hates black people, and this has to be the cause. That's what my priest taught me during my first confession. I still don't know why he had his pants off.

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